This Woman Hates United Airlines

Carole was originally scheduled on a United flight, however, it was delayed, making it impossible to make her connection to Marseille. She was moved to a Lufthansa flight connecting through Munich. Where her luggage ended up is anybody's guess. Brad was on the phone with various airline personnel from noon to 2 a.m. yesterday trying to figure it out. We believe that it will arrive in Marseille Thursday morning. Here is what we've been told:

It is United's problem.
It is Lufthansa's problem.
It is Marseille's problem.
We can't send a bag across international lines without a passenger.
The bag was left in San Francisco.
The bag is in Frankfort.
The bag is in the air on a flight that hasn't taken off yet.
(All three of the above conditions were stated as occurring simultaneously.)
Do you really need the bag?

It's 11:00 a.m. on Thursday. Still no bag.