"Jet Lag"

I AM JET LAGGED. I am not feeling jet leg. I am. As a college softball player, I thought I knew and understood the definition of jet lag. Bleeeeeeep that. Currently, it is 11:00 AM in London aka 3:00 AM in California. Allow me to relay the feeling of true jet lag... You wake up in London with little sleep. You are covered in sweat. Every little movement, every inch, makes you feel like you need to throw up. You lay in the bed without moving, but your family urges you to eat. So you stand up, but begin to throw up, so you sit back down. It is like the flu on lucy in the sky of diamonds (lsd). You can't move. You are dizzy. Your body is yelling at you "go back to sleep!!!" Your parents are saying "get up, walk around!" Your mind is like "why would anyone do this by choice?" But you push through. Convince your mom to let you sleep for a little bit. You eat cwwwwossiants and sip on tea. Slowly you start thinking you are better. Then you stand up, but begin to throw up, so you sit back down. But you push through. You get in the shower. Convince your mom to do your hair. After that, we will go drink tea and eat cupcakes... I think I can do this :-)
But for the bleeping record: world travelers are crack heads. The end.